To mediate and to muse on

Psalms 77:12 And I will mediate on all that You have done And muse on Your doings.

(In Hebrew)
12 וְהָגִיתִי בְכָל־פָּעֳלֶךָ וְּבַעֲלִילֹותֶיךָ 1אָשִׂיחָה
שיח, verb, talk, meditate, speak, complain, pray, commune, muse, declare (12-9).

Having been a Christian for a long while, this verse to me always means I will "think" what God is and has done to me. However, looking back the Hebrew bible, the meaning becomes clear. "Mediate" and "muse" are sharing the same word in this verse. It means much more than simply to think or to consider, but more of something "audible"- our talking, speaking, complaining, praying, communing, and declaring Him. 

Praise the Lord! The way to contact God isn't just some thoughts in quietness or wondering in my mind, but to actually have conversations with the Lord. How amazing! This is the way we touch Him and enjoy Him.   

The kingdom of God

This morning I was randomly pray-reading the verse in Romans 14:17

For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

I've come across this verse for a lot of times, but while I was reading it this time, I asked a question to myself - "why it is not eating and drinking?" because another verse came to me. 

The Son of Man came eating and drinking; and they say, Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners. Yet wisdom is justified by her works.(Matt. 11:19)

You work with God by a life

Hi Kate,

It's okay to be a bit down and sad. You know you're doing your best among all the struggles. The Lord is faithful, and He'll open the way.

Thank the Lord that this hymn came to me on the way home:

Desperate to consecrate for God's purpose

Enjoying the message on the way to uni.

Sometimes the environment makes you desperate to cry out to God. Hannah was desperately praying to God for a child. She had no choice but consecrated herself to God. The result was Samuel- the one who was produced for God's purpose. (1 Samuel life-study)

God needs people who are desperate and then consecrate themselves absolute to Him. This makes us one with Him so He has a way in us to carry out His purpose.

Praise the Lord! :)

Oh my love, come back quickly

These two days my heart was slightly bothered by some things. Although I might have some desires of my own, at the end of the day, He is who I really need and want. It was actually a cry out from within that I just wanted to touch Him and enjoy His very presence.

So after dinner, after I finished cooking my lunchbox for tomorrow, I came back to my room and sang to Him (Lord, how long). One stanza touched me deeply, it went:


The universe, in it we see,In the sweetest touch of Thee,
You’re my choice and my destiny, destiny.
Lord, whate’er the price may be,
Lord, Amen, let it be!
Oh, my Love, please come back quickly!

Come, Lord Jesus,
Please come, dear Bridegroom;
Precious One, come soon, come soon.
Lord, consume me!
Oh Lord, don’t let me stray,
Faithful to You all the way.

Lord, there might be many things which I don't understand now, and I'm not so sure how to go on as well. But thank You Lord since the day I chose You, I have no other ways but to follow You absolutely. Lord, thank You that I can love You and simply present my whole being for Your move here. Strengthen me, supply me, and take me through the process. I love You :)

You did not choose Me, but I chose you

Somehow I felt tired. I thought I could possibly find some research funding but really it's hard. I actually don't know what to do with this. The pressure for research funding has forced me, again, to come to the Lord.

I can't really do anything but consecrate myself to the Lord. I asked for the Lord's speaking to me what I should do, but the Lord didn't answer me directly with any verses. However, through the conversations with Him, I gradually realised that it was really the Lord's calling for my studying abroad. Before, I was doubting my decision to come to the UK and study PhD was merely a decision out of flesh. This time, while I learned to speak more to Him, the Lord was dealing with me and my inner intention. To an extent, I know that I'm here for the Lord's move in Europe. And I told the Lord, now the responsibility is Yours. I'm just telling You, I need funding.

While reading the gospel of John, a verse in 15:16 came to me. "You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and I set you that you should go forth and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My Name, He may give you."

This verse touched me. So many times Satan just wanna accuse me of the studying abroad decision was not the Lord's calling. However, it was indeed the Lord's mercy and it was Him who called me here. He used a brother's testimony to make me have a heart to come to Europe. He opened the way so a girl who comes from a poor family can study in the UK. He arranged everything so my application got accepted. While I was living in sister house, He arranged an environment to help me practise English. If it was only me, I didn't even dare to dream of studying abroad and doing a PhD.

Then recently while I again felt worried about my funding, the Lord exposed me, "Do you think I'm not able to do it?". I responded, "Lord, of course You are able." Because of my consecration, the Lord simply asked me to "take care of my heart". As long as my heart is right, He's able to make it happen. This time I have another consecration. I know it's been hard to think this will happen, but I told the Lord if I can get the funding to finish my study and He's able to sort out my visa issue, I will go to FTTL.

Lord, have Your way in Me. My heart is with Your move in Europe.

Recover the land

It's been a while. During the one month time, I had finished my dissertation, prepared the freshers fayre, and tabled while the freshers came in my uni. Then, I had become quite sick for a week. But somehow, as the Lord listened to our prayer, the Lord has brought some new ones under our care. This is absolutely amazing :) I gradually realised how the cooperation with God is so important. We prayed, and the corresponding action must be taken for He realised His promise by our taking action.

After recovering from the cold, I start to participate in training for new researchers. And again, I need to figure out a new research direction. I don't know where to start. Loads of thoughts have come in. Which area is more promising? Which area can help me get more funding? Which area can help me stay in Europe. A lot of practical things need to be considered, and as usual, I'm easily frustrated while I'm confused or struggling with my future direction. Well, all above is just my reflection of my life recently. At the same time, I feel the need not just to read morning revival in the morning, read the Bible myself, but also need to enter in the ministry. And this is the book I chose- the all-inclusive Christ.