The day marrying Christ - (2)

Following the last post, as brother Nee fellowshipped, "There must be a definite date to our consecration, in the same way that there is a definite date to a girl's marriage." I then realised that I had never consecrated myself in such a way. Of course, when I first heard the gospel and entered into the church life, I wanted to follow the Lord. As I had gone to various meetings and conferences, it is not a new thing for me to "consecrate" myself to the Lord. I had consecrated myself to Him in many things and ways, and when I read this portion, I realised that I had never properly consecrated myself at least once in my life as if I married myself to the Lord.

It so happened that there have been things that I have not been able to get through. So I started to pray to Him and consider the things and the matter of having an absolute consecration to Him. I realised that consecration is closely related to our overcoming life (see the message shared in the last post), and the ability to overcome does not rest upon us. The ability comes from Him and what He had gone through and achieved for us. So I said to the Lord, I'm still hurt, and hurt badly. This affects my energy to work and enjoy the Lord. I have been striving to enjoy the Lord and doing my work. But You know what? I don't intend to struggle anymore. I have the overcoming life in me, and whether I'll still be sad and not having the proper energy to work, it is not my problem. I now make a choice to let You work in me in this matter, and whether I'll be healed or not, it is Your thing now. 

My 17th anniversary with You

I have been thinking to post some enjoyment to remember my 17th anniversary with the Lord but somehow I find it difficult to articulate what I've been enjoying. I'll probably grasp another opportunity to write down what I've received from the Lord.

There are still some feelings I'm struggling with. Oh Lord, but recently I've been enjoying this hymn- Divine Romance. To be honest, since I was a young person, we sang it frequently and I kinda getting tired of this hymn. I picked up this hymn again and realised that this hymn contains and describes a lot of my recent feeling.

I just want to consecrate myself to You, Lord. For I do not know where I will be going, and I don't know how my life will look like and end up with. I'm here asking You to draw me day by day. Sorry for being distracted from the vision. It's really not me who can follow You, but Your mercy, grace, and preserving power that keeps me all the way. Draw me more and more, Lord, so I don't just follow You in an ordinary or careless way but follow You by running toward Your love.


This divine romance
Is My heart’s deep plan,
I became a lowly man
To court My country girl.

Nothing could deter,
Nothing can alter
My eternal love for her;
I’ll gain My country girl.
___________________

In Your love I’m drawn,
To You I belong;
I am not my own, Lord,
I’m Yours alone.

By Your love I’m drawn,
In Your name I’m charmed,
And Your Person captured me,
For I’ve been kissed by Thee.

Thank You, Lord, for courting me. I believe it's the time to respond to Your love, once again. I love You :) 

The repenting spirit during the first weekend's video training (summer)

Booked a later ticket back to Brighton so I had a morning to review what I enjoyed in the video training during the weekend.

#hymn 280 is probably a recap of my spirit during the weekend (http://www.witness-lee-hymns.org/hymns/H0280.html)

Lord, may Thy blood now cleanse me,

Wash all my sins away,
That with Thy Holy Spirit
Thou may anoint, I pray.
My service, I confess, Lord,
Is failure-full and weak;
The filling of Thy Spirit
To live for Thee I seek.

How cold my heart has been, Lord,
How slow obeying Thee;
So fill me with Thy Spirit,
I’ll ne’er rebellious be.

Oh, may Thy Cross within me
Deepen its work and burn
In me enlarge Thy measure,
And me to ashes turn.
Oh, may Thy Spirit fill me
Each day more than before,
And may Thy living water
On me and thru me pour.

Oh, from myself deliver,
From all its misery;
I’d henceforth be forever
Completely filled with Thee.

_____________________________________________

Lord, I'm really thankful that You gave us the book of Leviticus. 

A book that trains Your people to live for Your purpose and fulfil Your purpose. 

Make me maintain a kind of living that can fulfil Your purpose as well. 

Deal with my fallen nature so I can be preserved solely for You. 

Gain me, and gain the fellow saints, so that we can be a priesthood that delights You and realise Your will on the heavenlies to the earth. 

This is my prayer, my yearning, and my plea, Lord. 

Great is Thy faithfulness

This hymn suddenly came to me today. Interestingly, it had been a long while I hadn't sung this hymn.

I'm still struggling with my funding and I have spent a long time today searching for new opportunities which I can apply for. Then in the evening, this hymn came to me and I simply started with "Great is Thy faithfulness, Great is Thy faithfulness". I couldn't remember exactly how this song goes so I checked it online and started to sing it.

O God my Father! How sweet when I called Him "my Father".

In my lifetime so far, I have thought thousands of times that, if I had a dad, my life can be so much easier. However, when I sang "O God my Father", I immediately sensed a deeper presence of God.
He's my Father, who "changest not and there's no shadow of turning with Him". Such a wonderful One, is my Father.

I choose life

I've been "seriously" wrtiting up my dissertation since the begining of Agugust, and of course, I've been prepraring the research since the begining of this year. A lot of try and error involved in the process. So in these two days, probably because I'm aware that it's my final stage of my dissertation, I become too relax and my mind isn't that sharp anymore (I think researchers know what I'm talking about...). And as I get more relaxed, my mind started wondering around many things. That's probably why I felt dull this morning. 

Before I came to the bible, I firstly asked the Lord what's going on with the dull feeling. And as I asked Him to clense me, I got a feeling that I just need to put aside everything, even my feelings, just come to Him as who I am. He's a living person, and I'm ready to seek Him. Seek and I shall find.

Let's go on - the matter of keeping the heart uplifted

Recently I enjoy that our Christian walk does not merely depend on our spirit but also our soul. Our soul is of great use for our experiencing the Lord. The realisation that I have to do my best to maintina my mental and phisical health in order to experience the Lord properly really impressed me.