The attitudes while/after confronting failures

(https://www.facebook.com/DoctorKoWJ/videos/396590987628594/)

Just came across this video. It was Dr Ko, the mayor of Taipei, visiting the northeast of Japan where the Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami took place in the year of 2011. The entire region was swept by the tsunami.

Something came to my mind while watching this video. Instead of fixing obvious problems such as houses and buildings, Japan turned the disaster to an opportunity to rebuild the entire region for a better and safer place to live. They had a complete plan for the regional renewal.

I once had an experience. I considered it as a failure, both spiritually and humanly. Even now, whenever I think of it, I feel bad. As a Christian, I should be able to learn things spiritually and humanly as well. I have to learn to eat the difficulties and become as strong as Caleb in the old testament.

The day marrying Christ - (2)

Following the last post, as brother Nee fellowshipped, "There must be a definite date to our consecration, in the same way that there is a definite date to a girl's marriage." I then realised that I had never consecrated myself in such a way. Of course, when I first heard the gospel and entered into the church life, I wanted to follow the Lord. As I had gone to various meetings and conferences, it is not a new thing for me to "consecrate" myself to the Lord. I had consecrated myself to Him in many things and ways, and when I read this portion, I realised that I had never properly consecrated myself at least once in my life as if I married myself to the Lord.

It so happened that there have been things that I have not been able to get through. So I started to pray to Him and consider the things and the matter of having an absolute consecration to Him. I realised that consecration is closely related to our overcoming life (see the message shared in the last post), and the ability to overcome does not rest upon us. The ability comes from Him and what He had gone through and achieved for us. So I said to the Lord, I'm still hurt, and hurt badly. This affects my energy to work and enjoy the Lord. I have been striving to enjoy the Lord and doing my work. But You know what? I don't intend to struggle anymore. I have the overcoming life in me, and whether I'll still be sad and not having the proper energy to work, it is not my problem. I now make a choice to let You work in me in this matter, and whether I'll be healed or not, it is Your thing now. 

A new beginning with the Lord in 2019

I'm glad that 2018 had come to an end. It is officially the year of 2019. It was a great kickoff to pray with the saints in Stuggart throughout the new year and had a foretaste of the German craziness via watching them setting off fireworks. I am very thankful that the Lord has set out many opportunities for us to have a new beginning with Him.

2018 had been really tough for me for so many reasons. When I had a brief reflection on the 1st day of 2019, the Lord reminded me that I can simply forget the things behind and left all things (good and bad) in 2018 and move forward without hindrances. So far I have enjoyed some sweet blending, a prayer meeting and a sister meeting at Stuggart. It is a great start and for this, I thank You, Lord.

Interestingly, I came across these verses in Deuteronomy chapter 11 and it helps me to consecrate myself to the Lord freshly again.

11:11-16

But the land into which you are crossing over to possess is a land of mountains and valleys; by virtue of heaven's rain, it drinks in water. It is a land which Jehovah your God cares for; always the eyes of Jehovah your God are upon it, from the beginning of the year even to the end of the year. And if you are certain to listen to my commandments, which I am commanding you today, to love Jehovah your God and serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul, I will give rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the late rain, so that you may gather your grain and your new wine and your fresh oil. And I will put grass in your field for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied. Be careful lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and bow down to them,

11:24    

Every place on which the sole of your foot treads will be yours; from the wilderness and Lebanon, from the river, the river Euphrates, even to the farmost sea will be your territory.

11:31-32

For you are about to cross over the Jordan to enter and possess the land which Jehovah your God is giving you; and you will possess it and dwell in it. Therefore be certain to do all the statutes and judgments that I am setting before you today.

Oh Lord, thank You for encouraging me with these verses. May the year 2019 be an advancement in gaining my coordination to realise Your promise!

No more tears but joy

Whenever I walked by this place, I remember how my tears streamed down that day so that I had to hide in the forest and cried. During these months, I've been inquiring the Lord concerning the matter. If I were able to collect my tears, they must have already caused the flood.

However, when I happened to read the verse today, it feels like the Lord has gently left a gift before me.

Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be made full (John 16:24). 

Of course, I have had a lot of prayers during the time, but today I enjoy how He has loved me and is willing to fulfill my joy because my joy has been one with His joy (John 15:7-11). So I emptied my thoughts from all busyness and paid attention to my inner feeling concerning what I really want.

I made a request that my joy may be made full, and I know that it is His joy as well.

I love You, Lord. Thank You and I praise You. No more tears but joy.

My 17th anniversary with You

I have been thinking to post some enjoyment to remember my 17th anniversary with the Lord but somehow I find it difficult to articulate what I've been enjoying. I'll probably grasp another opportunity to write down what I've received from the Lord.

There are still some feelings I'm struggling with. Oh Lord, but recently I've been enjoying this hymn- Divine Romance. To be honest, since I was a young person, we sang it frequently and I kinda getting tired of this hymn. I picked up this hymn again and realised that this hymn contains and describes a lot of my recent feeling.

I just want to consecrate myself to You, Lord. For I do not know where I will be going, and I don't know how my life will look like and end up with. I'm here asking You to draw me day by day. Sorry for being distracted from the vision. It's really not me who can follow You, but Your mercy, grace, and preserving power that keeps me all the way. Draw me more and more, Lord, so I don't just follow You in an ordinary or careless way but follow You by running toward Your love.


This divine romance
Is My heart’s deep plan,
I became a lowly man
To court My country girl.

Nothing could deter,
Nothing can alter
My eternal love for her;
I’ll gain My country girl.
___________________

In Your love I’m drawn,
To You I belong;
I am not my own, Lord,
I’m Yours alone.

By Your love I’m drawn,
In Your name I’m charmed,
And Your Person captured me,
For I’ve been kissed by Thee.

Thank You, Lord, for courting me. I believe it's the time to respond to Your love, once again. I love You :) 

By the Spirit of God I serve

For we are the circumcision, the ones who serve by the Spirit of God and boast in Christ Jesus and have no confidence in the flesh (Phil 3:3).

I enjoy that 1) We're circumcised by Christ's crucifixion and thus have no confidence in the flesh. Therefore, I can forget about everything I perceive about myself, others, and the environment and simply press on to serve Him. My eye has to be single (Matt. 6:22). 2) The Spirit of God is the basis of our service. I need to seize every opportunity to focus on growing in life. Eventually, in all services, we boast in Christ Jesus and glorify Him.

Thank You, Lord, I can simply forget about everything I perceive and focus on Christ and pursue the growth in Life. By this I serve.

A lamp to my feet for my close following

The Word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path (Psalm 119:105).

Somehow the trains to my home were cancelled, and I happened to stay in the office late. I decided to take a train to the next station and walk back. However, the whole journey was dark, and some weird people were hanging around. I was really scared.

Finally, when I was close to home, I noticed my neighbour placed some lamps close to the height of my feet. I suddenly realised that we actually are all people who walk in the dark age and are often scared. That's why we need a lamp to our feet. It doesn't allow us to see things at a distance, but as we follow closely and carefully, we'll still be safe in the end.

Thank You, Lord, for bringing me home safely :)

An Education for the Spread of the Lord’s Recovery

Brother Witness Lee spoke many times about the importance of education. However, as many of us pursue higher degrees and further training, we may begin to lose sight of why we set out to obtain such an education in the first place. In A Blessed Human Life, Brother Witness Lee touches on these points and reminds us that everything we do should be with a view to the Lord’s move on the earth.

You all are studying hard, longing for and striving toward successfully completing your education. For this, I ask the Lord to bless you all that each one of you may be successful in completing your education. However, I would ask you, after you have completed your education, what are you going to do?

The Bible says that among God’s people there were great resolutions in heart, and there were also great searchings of heart (Judg. 5:15-16). For whom did they have great resolutions and great searchings? A person of aspiration, though he lives on the earth, always turns his heart to the Lord. We should have great resolutions in heart and great searchings of heart toward God. May all the young people, starting from today, be willing to have great resolutions and great searchings of heart. May today be the day that you have a great resolve and make a great plan. Some may ask, what is the purpose of having a great resolve and a great searching? It is to live for God on the earth. [Living for God] means to receive God as your life for your entire life. God will lead you to express Him on this earth by going to every place, every country, and every nation to testify on His behalf and to lead people to know Him. (pp 40-41)

Once we have resolved that our education is simply to make us more useful to the Lord and His economy, Brother Witness Lee encourages us to go. He does not ask if we will go, but where we will go.

Every letter sent to us from the major continents all over the globe has fellowshipped with us regarding the need for people to go. But where are the people? We do not have enough people even to meet the need of Taiwan, or even just Taipei, not to mention the whole earth. Where are the people? (p 53)

Where will you go – to Africa, South America, Central America, North America, Eastern Europe, or Western Europe? We can pray to the Lord, “O Lord, where should I go? O Lord, where do You want me to go?” May we all answer the Lord, “O Lord, here am I; send me.” (p 58)

Hallelujah – we are not wandering aimlessly through our educational programs, but living for the Lord and to Him for His increase and spread on the earth!

Source of article link Living to Him (http://livingtohim.com/2010/12/an-education-for-the-spread-of-the-lord%E2%80%99s-recovery/) 

It was sweet, wasn't it?

Earlier this evening I called a sister N who I had been trying to do some "evening revival" with her but didn't succeed in prior two weeks. Finally today, it was a good timing. We started to empty ourselves and turn to the Lord. We pray-read a verse, had a bit fellowship, and prayed for each other. I sensed the Lord was caring us right at the moment we prayed.

Sister N is busy. Since she came to this locality, I didn't really have a chance to read with her or pray with her, but the Lord always put her in my mind. After today's prayer time, I got to know that she's just a sister who left home for study and misses home. I finally got to know her situation instead of saying hi in the meeting. That was a good time, and we both opened to the Lord and opened to one another.

Then the Lord asked me "It was sweet, wasn't it?", then the next was "Would it be wonderful that you can do this the rest of your life?" I wasn't sure whether it was the Lord's calling, or it was just me thinking of this. If it was the Lord's calling, do You want me to serve full-time?

I remember on the way home from uni, I was still thinking about my visa issues, and the contract with my government. Anyways, I don't think I can make it to the training in London. So I leave this issue to Him- if you really want me to serve Your full-time, You have to figure out a way.

It was sweet shepherding people, but if You don't open up the way, I will not be able to do anything, neither. I'm here again, ask for Your leading, Lord. Your move in Europe is where I belong to. However, the means and ways to stay here- it is Your responsibility to figure it out. I'm just telling You that I'm here.

The kingdom of God

This morning I was randomly pray-reading the verse in Romans 14:17

For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

I've come across this verse for a lot of times, but while I was reading it this time, I asked a question to myself - "why it is not eating and drinking?" because another verse came to me. 

The Son of Man came eating and drinking; and they say, Behold, a gluttonous man and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners. Yet wisdom is justified by her works.(Matt. 11:19)

I choose life

I've been "seriously" wrtiting up my dissertation since the begining of Agugust, and of course, I've been prepraring the research since the begining of this year. A lot of try and error involved in the process. So in these two days, probably because I'm aware that it's my final stage of my dissertation, I become too relax and my mind isn't that sharp anymore (I think researchers know what I'm talking about...). And as I get more relaxed, my mind started wondering around many things. That's probably why I felt dull this morning. 

Before I came to the bible, I firstly asked the Lord what's going on with the dull feeling. And as I asked Him to clense me, I got a feeling that I just need to put aside everything, even my feelings, just come to Him as who I am. He's a living person, and I'm ready to seek Him. Seek and I shall find.

2016 Nottingham conference (1)- concerning the soul

The prior week had been crazy and I didn't feel like posting anything although I've been enjoying the Lord's supply and strengthening. Due to the busy schedule, I will just share a little bit everyday. A little goes a long way. :)

Anyways, praise the Lord that I made it to the Nottingham conference. There were so many points I enjoyed. First, our soul is very crucial because it is where our transformation takes place, and through soul we express God. Since I recently come back to Matthew for my bible study, I came across this verse:

Having been divinely instructed

Now I come back to Matthew for my personl bible study. One thing interesting captured me.

And because they (magi) had been divinely instructed in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed by another way to their country. (Matt. 2:12)

But because he (Joseph) heard that Archelaus was reigning over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there; and having been divinely instructed in a dream, he departed into the regions of Galilee. (Matt. 2:22)

The hungry ones

Yesterday I just listened the message concerning "open vessels", and this morning the Lord again reinforced this point through my morning revival.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. (Matt. 5:6)

The hungry He has filled with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty. (Luke 1:53)

Just as the message I listened yesterday, the message I read this morning talks about the first condition for spiritual growth in a Christian is hunger. We have to learn to be hungry so that the Lord has a way to fill us and bless us. This is God's principle. There must be an empty and open vessel so He's able to fill.

Hunger is the drive for us to search for food. As the Lord said in Luke 11:9.

The apostles are "open vessels" and ready to be burned

Enjoying the message here concerning how to dispense life to young people (but I guess it can be applied to general services, too).

For which cause I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. (2 Tim 1:6)
In the brother's sharing, one thing that touches me the most is that our being must be "fanned into flame". We need the fire burning within us so that we can serve. What is the requirement to fan into flame the gift of God? Practically speaking it is not even calling on the Lord's name or whatsoever, The requirement is that we have to learn to be open. The apostles are the "open vessels". Therefore, they can learn how to follow the Lord because they are open. Being open also implies being empty.

Oh Lord, cause me to be open and empty to you even though I'm really busy these days, and I need to concern where to meet the financial need. I just open and love you. Lead me in my fellowship with You, Lord.

Repent, be in reality, and produce many Timothys

This is basically a recap of what I had enjoyed yesterday.

A. Repent 

Yesterday morning when I woke up, I had a sense of uneasiness. I felt that it was kinda stress concerning my dissertation. I called upon the Lord's name, and this thought shone on me. I'm not a person who's able to suffer, and that's why when I'm busy with my assignments or other work, I always feel stressed out and not happy. I'm also reminded that we Christians should have a mind of being willing to suffer. This has been revealed in 1 Peter 4:1,

"Since Christ therefore has suffered in the flesh, you also arm yourselves with the same mind (because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin),"

A fresh view concerning the things we ask

In most occations, we would think that prayers should be sheer in spirit because prayers are spiritual matters. However, this morning a fresh idea came in. Prayers should also involve our whole beings.

"Again, truly I say to you that if two of you are in harmony on earth concerning any matter for which they ask, it will be done for them from my Father who is in the heavens" (Matt. 18:19)

"These all continued steadfastly with one accord in prayer..."(Acts 1:14)

Many bible readers have endeavoured in exploring the secrets of our prayers get answered. Of course, the general concepts will be we have to pray the Father's heart and so on. I'm not forsaking this idea, but rather, I would like to add something more concerning our prayers get answered.

Keep breathing. We forget it easily.

A reminder for today.

I felt a bit dull yesterday. Although I did turn to the Lord and try to call upon His name. I still felt not right. I repented, and it was still not right. I was wondering what was going on with me?

Then I realised that I didn't have sufficient "breathing". I did, but it wasn't sufficient to get me the "spiritual oxygen". After I finished dinner with some saints who just came back, I had a deeper and longer breathing of the Lord, and everything seemed different.

Keep breathing, I forget it easily.

Through breathing people can tell you're alive

This morning I had a quick run to the park and saw a hedgehog. I wasn't sure if it was still alive because it didn't move at all. I crouched down and tried to check. A lady passed by and also asked if it's alive? I took a closer look and realised the hedgehog was breathing with a slight movement.


Being a Christian is the same. People might not be able to tell what's the differences between us and unblievers. However, when we breathe Jesus, people will be able to tell that you're alive.