Solid Ground sisters - Podcast #7 – Moody’s Relationships

What the kind of person Moody is. 

1. A people person - He learnt to work with people (all kinds of people). He seemed to know many children, and the reason was that he visited them in person. 

2. Being raised in poverty, so Moody didn't want to show preferences with people and he liked to serve with common folks. 

3. Love and sympathy was his way to preach the gospel to others. 

4. A person of singing - using hymns as a vehicle along with his gospel preaching 

5. During the civil war, he was a conscientious objector. But he managed to go to the frontline to preach the gospel and visit the sick and wounded. 

6. He loved the believers, but he was very bothered about the matter of "divisions" in the Body of Christ because it was damage to the believers in receiving the gospel. The ground of oneness is very important. Keep the oneness and practise the oneness. 

When asked by the end of Moody's life, he said "What was the secret of his success" - every time he addresses things in his speaking, he was with the Lord's coming in view. He relied on the Lord to strengthen him in his speaking. 

Concerning vows

Num. 30:2 When a man vows a vow to Jehovah or swears an oath to bind himself by pledge, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.

Num. 30:7 And her husband hears of it and is silent with respect to her on the day he hears it, then her vows will stand and her pledges by which she has bound herself will stand.

----
Lord, although we do not have the right over our vows as You are the One who made the final decisions, I still ask You to bless my heart over the vows.

Through our fellowship, You will eventually find favour of my vows and establish them.
Through the process, may I be infused with You, and You will be moved by my desires to serve You and find favour of my vows. 

Run not before Him

Recently, my prayer to the Lord is "Lord, go before me". 

Again when I was trying to take a step forward, I felt anxious about this. Just as I always do- my oversensitive nerves always make me not feel well. I could not fall asleep at night properly. You can not say that I am really anxious, but my super sensitive nerves do not agree. Whenever I want to take a step forward, this always happens. I cannot control. 

This morning, while I was thinking to linger on my bed more due to the lack of sleep at night, my another response was that I shall wake up early because I really need to seek for the Lord at this moment. Then this hymn occurred to me. 

(Hymnal 643) 

Take time to behold Him,

Let Him be thy guide;
And run not before Him
Whatever betide;
In joy or in sorrow
Still follow thy Lord,
And, looking to Jesus,
Still trust in His Word.

Take time to behold Him,
Be calm in thy soul,
Each thought and each temper
Beneath His control.
Thus led by His Spirit
To fountains of love,
Thou then shalt be fitted
His mercy to prove.

__________

The Lord keeps reminding me of not running before Him. I am convicted, and whether the step will lead me further or not, I do not know. But dear Lord, in joy or in sorrow, may I still follow You. Make me look up to You and trust in Your Word. 

I also confess that my soul did not align with the Lord. Whenever my nerves get sensitive, my thoughts can go wild. Oh Lord, cause my soul to be calm and let every thought and temper be under Your control. Lord, I want to be led by the Spirit to fountains of love. Regardless of what might happen, dear Lord, may the fountains of love overwhelm me so I will find mercy at whatever You may lead. 

The wilderness for me for Your economy

Even until now, I still don't know why You led me here.

But when I am able to lie down on the field on the way home and talk to You a lot of my feelings, inquire some things, or simply breath You, I sort of know why I am here.

This is the wilderness that You have prepared for me for Your economy. The many conversations between You and me are an eternal memorial between us.

I love You, Lord.

Standing before the Son of Man

I've been quite upset these days, and I have asked the Lord to strengthen me by looking away unto Him. However, perhaps the Lord allows me to have some suffering from these things so that I can be forced to come to Him again, again, and again. 

While I brought these matters to the Lord this morning, I also open to His speaking. And His Word in Luke chapter 21 has refreshed me. From verses 28-36, many Words have touched me. 

"...that the summer is already near...But take heed to yourselves lest perhaps your hearts be weighed down with debauchery and drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day come upon you suddenly as a snare...But be watchful...beseeching that you would prevail to escape all these things...and stand before the Son of Man".

Praying for a window of opportunity in relation to migration

This only occurs to me recently. In relation to migration, a window of opportunity is important. 

Quite a long time ago, a sister said to me that sister L was able to use a certain visa to go to Germany because she seized this opportunity. That type of visa only opened for a short period of time and she caught up this opportunity. 

I do keep this in mind but it only started making more sense recently. 

Recently, one of my advisors is going to France. I thought he just randomly found an opportunity through his network, and that was it. However, when I chatted with him, he mentioned that because there are many mergings going on among business schools in France at the moment, he thought it was a good opportunity and decided to go. "A window of opportunity" was mentioned several times by my advisor. 

你的信救了你-意志主動的要

「你的信救了你，平平安安的去罷！你的災病痊愈了。」（馬可福音五34）


馬可福音中有一位患了血漏的女人，由於她的病是那麼難以啟口，而眾人又擁擠著耶穌，這使她心中興起一個念頭：「我只摸祂的衣裳，就必痊癒。」在耶穌尚未回應之前，她已相信，已有決心，已有行動！耶穌頓時感覺有能力從祂身上出來，這個女人的病也立刻完全好了。

「你的信救了你」是說明她的行動，乃是出於她裡面的信心；惟有以信心去接觸主，才能得著主的醫治。患血漏的女人只從心裡禱告，就得了主的醫治；可見禱告蒙主垂聽，在乎存心，不在乎話語。我們若伸出信心的手來摸主，主的能力也必能使我們勝過難處。

今天也有多少人終日圍繞耶穌，靠近耶穌，但都沒有摸著祂。雖然也讀聖經、唱詩歌、敬拜主，卻沒有舉起信心的手去摸耶穌。


【職事信息－意志主動的要】

Responding to and realising His move

None of us can really know what life will bring us and take us to. 

I put this conversation with Him concerning the recent burden of the church in London to "migrate". To be honest, whether we have a heart is one matter, but what the Lord thinks how we shall respond to this move is another matter. Even today, I still cannot be sure, but when I read the Word this morning, this footnote inspired me. 

"This book (the book of revelation) stresses not only the Spirit of God as the sevenfold intensified Spirit for God's intensified move, but also our human spirit as the organ for us to realize and respond to God's move. Only spirit (our spirit) can respond to Spirit (God's Spirit)... " (Revelation 1:10 ft.1). This partly answers my inquiries to the Lord concerning His move. 

I actually came across this cross-reference for "in spirit" from verse 4:2. "Immediately I was in spirit; and behold, there was a throne set in heaven, and upon the throne there was One sitting". I was touched by the fact that only in our spirit, we can see the throne and see the very dear One whom we fervently love and eagerly await sitting on the throne. If we want to see Him at where we are and in our personal situation, we have to be in our spirit. 

I am the Alpha and the Omega

Recently several verses have been coming to me when I consider the completion of my PhD, and I happened to start my Bible reading in the book of revelation so I am also refreshed by these verses again and again. These verses are:

I am the Alpha and the Omega, says the Lord God, He who is and who was and who is coming, the Almighty. (Rev. 1:8)

And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead; and He placed His right hand on me, saying, Do not fear, I am the First and the Last (Rev 1:17).

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. (Rev.22:13)

The annual review taken place on Monday seems to indicate that I will need an extra year after my year 3 to complete my PhD. However, not only that I have no money for paying the tuition afterwards but also I don't think I would like to stay for one more year as my feeling to go to Germany is great. On my part, I can only try to work much harder in order to catch up on the progress. Although during the process I also ask the Lord about the completion of my PhD. "Was it a mistake that I came for the PhD programme?", and immediately followed the feeling that "the Lord is never wrong". I know that the Lord could have stopped me many times if He does not want me to come to the UK for this degree, but He just kept opening the way for me. I know that without the Lord, it is even impossible for me to continue my study.

Reflection (2) - recharge, conversations with myself and the Lord

Recently, I have a feeling that I need to come to the Lord just to reflect and to reconsider this coming year. Of course, due to various reasons, I would like to complete my thesis in this coming year and go to Germany, but seriously, there seems to be a long way to go. So today, after almost doing nothing, I come to this video concerning George Müller whose testimony has always been an encouragement to me (https://tinyurl.com/yym9e3bd).

There are several things in my mind that I am seeking the Lord.

1) What is my calling in my life course in relation to my occupation and career?
2) Where I am called to move to?
3) What have I set my mind for in order to complete this PhD in this coming year?

Physically exhausted, but Your presence is here with me

Treu ist Er, der euch beruft, der es auch tun wird. (1. Thessalonicher 5:24)
Faithful is He who calls you, who also will do it. (1 Thes 5:24)

I have been really exhausted physically as the workload becomes heavier. Sometimes, by the end of the day, my Bible reading in the morning feels like something happened two days ago. And while I was having a meeting with my supervisors today, I realised, "hey, it's just Monday, but I feel that it's Thursday now". This is how tiring I am in coping with the work although part of the reasons that I push myself much to complete this is due to my desire to go to Germany. 

I've been picking up German here and there recently although I cannot really spend a good amount of time practising it as I really need to get my PhD done. This includes a lot and a lot of effort. There were moments that I was making fun of myself. "I thought that I come to Europe for the Lord's move, but what am I doing for all the intensive studies here and being isolated from the saints?". Yes, I am so limited in terms of meeting the saints, and my church life is primarily upheld by appointments with the saints, but somehow there is peace within me and the Lord's presence is here with me. I told the Lord a lot of times that I cannot make it, but You have to be faithful to supply me to get through all the process. 

The day marrying Christ - (2)

Following the last post, as brother Nee fellowshipped, "There must be a definite date to our consecration, in the same way that there is a definite date to a girl's marriage." I then realised that I had never consecrated myself in such a way. Of course, when I first heard the gospel and entered into the church life, I wanted to follow the Lord. As I had gone to various meetings and conferences, it is not a new thing for me to "consecrate" myself to the Lord. I had consecrated myself to Him in many things and ways, and when I read this portion, I realised that I had never properly consecrated myself at least once in my life as if I married myself to the Lord.

It so happened that there have been things that I have not been able to get through. So I started to pray to Him and consider the things and the matter of having an absolute consecration to Him. I realised that consecration is closely related to our overcoming life (see the message shared in the last post), and the ability to overcome does not rest upon us. The ability comes from Him and what He had gone through and achieved for us. So I said to the Lord, I'm still hurt, and hurt badly. This affects my energy to work and enjoy the Lord. I have been striving to enjoy the Lord and doing my work. But You know what? I don't intend to struggle anymore. I have the overcoming life in me, and whether I'll still be sad and not having the proper energy to work, it is not my problem. I now make a choice to let You work in me in this matter, and whether I'll be healed or not, it is Your thing now. 

The day marrying Christ -(1)

This evening, I happened to read the Watchman Nee's "Consecration" in Collected Works of Watchman Nee, The (Set 2) Vol. 41, Conferences, messages, and fellowship (1) - message 18.

Several points that I really enjoy.
1) After we experience the overcoming life in us, we then are able to consecrate ourselves.
Many of us think we have consecrated ourselves. However, if we have not experienced the overcoming life, it is not possible to consecrate ourselves- "A Christian first overcomes and then consecrates. If we have broken through in the matter of overcoming, all we have to do today is to consecrate ourselves."

2) The experience of overcoming/victory strengthens us to be obedient to God.
"some think that after one has overcome he does not need to practice obedience anymore. Actually, our overcoming only makes us more able to obey the Lord. Formerly we did not have the strength to obey the Lord. Now that the Lord has accomplished everything for us, we can spontaneously hand over our will and everything to the Lord and allow the Lord to strengthen us with the overcoming life for obedience."

3) The meaning of overcoming/victory- "Victory does not mean just overcoming evil deeds.
Victory means that we no longer live for ourselves but that we live for the Lord while we live on earth every day. We must have the realization that the Lord has purchased us, that we belong to Him, and that we have been married to Him. Those who live in this atmosphere will breathe the heavenly air of holiness. Victory is not a practice of negating things. It is not just a passive deliverance from sin. Victory is an active consecration to the Lord and a fellowship with Him while living on this earth. Unless one reaches this stage, he is not overcoming."

4) Consecrating people, affairs, objects, and ourselves. Amongst them, I am touched by the matter of marrying Christ.
"There must be a definite date to our consecration, in the same way that there is a definite date to a girl's marriage. A girl cannot say, "I think I was married on a certain date." In the same way, we cannot say, "I think I consecrated myself on a certain date." This is something that we need to do before the Lord in a definite way. We should be very clear about this date and never forget it. I consecrated myself to the Lord on February 13, 1922. We can announce our date to others. We can tell those who brought us to the Lord or those who have given us spiritual help. We can even put out an announcement and declare to men as well as to Satan: "I am married to the Lord." Paul said that he had betrothed the Corinthian believers as chaste virgins to the Lord (2 Cor. 11:2)."

the character of the Lord's worker- not being subjective

It's funny that most of the times when I read the ministry, I thought I knew something. But afterward when I started learning it in my experience, I realised that I knew nothing about a particular lesson. And the lesson concerning being not subjective as a Lord's worker is one of the many examples. 

Actually, it is hard to be not subjective. A person who is generally soft and brings harmony among the people might think he or she is not subjective. It is a danger that we think in this way. We can still be very subjective even if we are people who maintain harmony with others. 

It is again a lesson that takes the breaking of the outer man. The breaking often leaves a mark so that we will be not subjective. I know that there are still so much to learn, but I really open to You, Lord. I want to learn spiritual lessons quicker so that You can gain me as a useful vessel.  

May You have a way in me, and through me, You have a way to others as well. Most important of all, may all the experiences we learn and grow will contribute to the Body of Christ. I admit my limitations to see the Body of Christ in full. However, as I grow in You more, I will see and experience more of the reality. Eventually, all these knowing and experiences will mature us and bring You back. 

I love You, Lord! 

No more tears but joy

Whenever I walked by this place, I remember how my tears streamed down that day so that I had to hide in the forest and cried. During these months, I've been inquiring the Lord concerning the matter. If I were able to collect my tears, they must have already caused the flood.

However, when I happened to read the verse today, it feels like the Lord has gently left a gift before me.

Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be made full (John 16:24). 

Of course, I have had a lot of prayers during the time, but today I enjoy how He has loved me and is willing to fulfill my joy because my joy has been one with His joy (John 15:7-11). So I emptied my thoughts from all busyness and paid attention to my inner feeling concerning what I really want.

I made a request that my joy may be made full, and I know that it is His joy as well.

I love You, Lord. Thank You and I praise You. No more tears but joy.

My 17th anniversary with You

I have been thinking to post some enjoyment to remember my 17th anniversary with the Lord but somehow I find it difficult to articulate what I've been enjoying. I'll probably grasp another opportunity to write down what I've received from the Lord.

There are still some feelings I'm struggling with. Oh Lord, but recently I've been enjoying this hymn- Divine Romance. To be honest, since I was a young person, we sang it frequently and I kinda getting tired of this hymn. I picked up this hymn again and realised that this hymn contains and describes a lot of my recent feeling.

I just want to consecrate myself to You, Lord. For I do not know where I will be going, and I don't know how my life will look like and end up with. I'm here asking You to draw me day by day. Sorry for being distracted from the vision. It's really not me who can follow You, but Your mercy, grace, and preserving power that keeps me all the way. Draw me more and more, Lord, so I don't just follow You in an ordinary or careless way but follow You by running toward Your love.


This divine romance
Is My heart’s deep plan,
I became a lowly man
To court My country girl.

Nothing could deter,
Nothing can alter
My eternal love for her;
I’ll gain My country girl.
___________________

In Your love I’m drawn,
To You I belong;
I am not my own, Lord,
I’m Yours alone.

By Your love I’m drawn,
In Your name I’m charmed,
And Your Person captured me,
For I’ve been kissed by Thee.

Thank You, Lord, for courting me. I believe it's the time to respond to Your love, once again. I love You :) 

What are the hindrances for the life to be manifested?

John 10:30; 37-38

"I and the Father are one."

"If I do not do the works of My Father, do not believe Me; But if I do them, even if you do not believe Me, believe the works so that you may come to know and continue to know that the Father is in Me and I am in the Father."

Sometimes in the church life, we think we are focusing on life. Because of this, if the work does not seem effective or bearing fruit, we might say "that's okay, it is a matter of life. If it doesn't work out, then don't be too bothered about it because we're not really focusing on the work".

I wasn't sure whether this kind of attitude is okay or not.

However, this morning when I read John chapter 10, I realise that if we really pay attention to life, the life shall manifest at a certain point in the Lord's work. As Jesus is one with the Father, so whatever He did, people should be able to recognise from the work that the Father is in Jesus, and Jesus is in the Father.

Additionally, I read the booklet "expecting the Lord's blessing" from Watchman Nee. If the Lord does not bless us, whatever we do is in vain.

All of these just remind me of my portion in the Lord's move in Europe. I am at where the Lord has placed me, but am I a hindrance for the Lord to pour out His blessing? How about the people I have been shepherding, is there any fruit coming out from me being one with the Father?

Lord, I do not want to fall into introspection but at the same time, I do not want to be fruitless. You must bless me, and if there is anything hindering Your blessing, shine on me and burn them away. I desire to be a cleansed channel for You to flow out!

The Lord's leading to Germany (in the process)

Sometimes I'm still wondering why the Lord did not keep me in Cardiff. I guess the Lord respects my heart to work in Germany. Since I came to the University of Sussex, the direction of my research changes. I realised that the change of my research discipline can perhaps help me to access the kind of job that Germans wish to employ. As I have been looking into the research jobs in Germany, I feel that my research topics can be of their interests.

At the same time, I have been asking the Lord whether it is His will for me to go to Germany. On the one hand, the people who ask the Lord to thrust out workers into the field have become the workers themselves so I just simply tell the Lord that I have a burden for Germany. On the other hand, I respect the Lord's way so I want to make sure that it is not just me having this desire to go without fellowshipping with Him. 

The previous two days, although I was still quite down, I saw two reports from Stuggart and Trier. Gloria sent pictures of how German saints (the Chemistry teacher) who invited German high school students to the gospel home meeting after they graduated. I looked at the students' shining faces and realised that this is really my heart's desire to make the Lord known to them. Oh Lord, how much I long for this. And another report from the Hernandez is pretty encouraging as well. This summer, almost the same time as the Cheungs, they received the burden to move to Germany. They had borne the burden for a long while and had been learning German. It was a great surprise to know that they have been putting this burden in their heart and pray over it. They just settled everything down in a small city Trier. They got the key to the house near the kids' schools, town centre, and the workplace. They can officially stay in Germany now as residents. Though they will need to travel for several hours to meet the saints, it was really amazing how the Lord has sorted out everything for them. This is the Lord's blessing to the work in Germany. This is what I am asking the Lord as well- not according to my own effort and labour but according to Your blessing. Lord, bless me so that I can work and reside in Germany for Your move. 

The reports really convinced me that the Lord is working out all miracles in Germany, and I do not want to miss this out. Although I still do not know God's plan and leading completely, I would like to trust in Him fully. Lord, work out a way for me to go to Germany! 

A getaway to Eastbourne (1) - Walking on the seaside

Finally got a chance to be so close to the sea :) Nature has the best healing power.

Comparing to Brighton, I probably like Eastbourne better. It's not as young and energetic as Brighton, but there are definitely fewer people lying on the beach so I could enjoy more private space for my own. Known as a retirement city, there are not so many young people who are going to do a lot of exciting activities on the beach. I enjoy the serenity of the site.

Longing for a deeper union with You

My Saviour,

I reckoned the reason that I had no rest is because of my analysing of a thing that bothers me.

I turned my eyes from the Lord and focused on myself. There is where the trouble comes. I realised that I was so busy in my soul wondering and analysing instead of coming to Him for such a rest.

I love Him, I love my Saviour.
I seek for the deeper union with Him.
I then had a sense that I should utterly give up myself. Giving up all the strength from my own self, and render and rest in Him completely. This is my recognition that He is my Lord, and He provides whatever I may need.

This morning, I come to the books written by Madame Guyon. These are "Sweet Smelling Myrrh" and "A short and easy method of prayer". These books helped me seek for a deeper union with the Lord within instead of the outward work alone- I've been actively outwardly, or, been busy in my soul.

These methods of prayers are so intuitive and simple. This echoes my deep longing to pray like this but somehow my soul tells me that I should pray in a certain way in order to please the Lord. Oh Lord, what a mistake. We can learn all the methods to approach You, but what You want the most is to mingle Yourself with us. Oh Lord, how much I have been grieving Your heart.

Gain my heart fully today so I can seek such a union with You. You can thus be satisfied.