Physically exhausted, but Your presence is here with me

Treu ist Er, der euch beruft, der es auch tun wird. (1. Thessalonicher 5:24)
Faithful is He who calls you, who also will do it. (1 Thes 5:24)

I have been really exhausted physically as the workload becomes heavier. Sometimes, by the end of the day, my Bible reading in the morning feels like something happened two days ago. And while I was having a meeting with my supervisors today, I realised, "hey, it's just Monday, but I feel that it's Thursday now". This is how tiring I am in coping with the work although part of the reasons that I push myself much to complete this is due to my desire to go to Germany. 

I've been picking up German here and there recently although I cannot really spend a good amount of time practising it as I really need to get my PhD done. This includes a lot and a lot of effort. There were moments that I was making fun of myself. "I thought that I come to Europe for the Lord's move, but what am I doing for all the intensive studies here and being isolated from the saints?". Yes, I am so limited in terms of meeting the saints, and my church life is primarily upheld by appointments with the saints, but somehow there is peace within me and the Lord's presence is here with me. I told the Lord a lot of times that I cannot make it, but You have to be faithful to supply me to get through all the process. 

Yesterday as I just finished another deadline and was sorting out the office desk, I saw a note that I had while I was still in Cardiff. The date was 7 March 2017, and I was consulting with the Lord concerning the option to go to Germany. As far as I could remember, the earliest time that I considered to go to Germany was around 2010 to 2011. Afterwards, I came to the UK, and the feeling slowly went away as I thought maybe the Lord placed me in the UK. However, in the blending trip in 2016, the desire in me had been rekindled again, but somehow it was suppressed by my misunderstanding of things surrounding me. I thought He was going to lead me to another direction. 

After all the detours, I told the Lord that I still have the desire to go to Germany. If that's where You are going and moving, please do not leave me out. Dear Lord, I still don't know much, but may You be the One who does what You intend to do in us and fulfil the calling You have created in us.