Recently, I have a deep realisation that I'm such a soft person- way too soft. My emotion is easily touched by things and persons, and this very point weakens my work as well. When I said being touched by things and persons, it can mean even positive feelings. Regardless of the positive or negative feelings I sense, they are just as shakable and cannot be used by God.
As many have thought that I'm a relatively stable person, well, I thought that as well until the Lord exposes me. However, I am thankful that the light has come to me now better than later. I do desire to be turned to a real "Peter" who eventually became a stable and solid person who God can use.
"We must remember the principle that God secures ministers before He builds the church. God first looks for ministers, and then He builds the church. The doors in many places can only be opened when God finds suitable and usable ministers. If His ministers and servants are not stable and reliable, these doors will not be opened".
"Thank God that Peter saw his weakness through his failure. His fall was severe and his failure great. He went away and wept. He knew that he could not make it by himself. Many brothers and sisters are likewise fully conscious of their own weakness, instability, and frailty. Let us pray to the Lord, saying, "Lord, I cannot make it!" Many people pray for light, yet very often great failures are a source of great light. These failures can provide as much a light as a severe rebuke or a seething message. A man should prostrate himself before God's word. He should prostrate himself before a severe rebuke. Likewise, he should prostrate himself before a serious failure. Such a failure is a light in itself. God shows through failures the kind of person one is. Peter wept bitterly. But God's mercy was upon him, and he became a real "Peter." He was changed from a weak and shaking person to a solid and stable person, and the door of Pentecost was opened through him. May the Lord be gracious to us so that we will witness a change in our character. Our character has to be changed, and the Lord can change our character. A lazy man can be changed into a diligent man; a talkative man can be changed into a man of few words; an insensitive man can be changed into a man who listens; a man who is afraid of sufferings can be changed into one who is fearless in the face of sufferings; a man who cannot control his body can be changed into one who is a master of his body. In the same way, a weak, shaky, and wobbly man can be changed into a strong, stable, and unwavering man. May the Lord have mercy on us."
Lord, have mercy! Amen.
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