How could it be? As I had already dealt with this matter and had a deal with the Lord. How could the feeling come back and haunt me again? More and more, I realised that my old man, especially my soft feelings, always distracted me from taking and living Christ as the reality.
However, I enjoyed what had been shared in the prophesying meeting and took it into my experience. Yes, I was still sad, and it was indeed hard to come out from that feeling when sadness just overtook me. Though I struggled, the Lord's grace covered me as I shouted: "Hallelujah!". When we aim to enter into the experience of the inward parts of Christ, we need to reject our old man and then also cultivate the feeling of the sense of the Body (this point was being shared in the meeting through different saints). This requires our "obedience" to Him.
I amen the point that we need to be obedient to Him. As this is my experience as well. Without my cooperation with the Lord, He doesn't have a way, and he doesn't want to make home in our heart when we are not willing. It is because making home in our heart means to rearrange and remold our inward being as the way He likes.
So I'm writing this as a reminder to myself. Lord, You know my consecration. Instead of wasting Your time and my time, I would like to exercise my being to take Your will as mine and Your inward parts as mine by adding a flavour of obedience to You and by me rejecting the old man. Lord, may You permeate in me so that I can really be used by You for Your eternal economy.
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