A new beginning with the Lord in 2019

I'm glad that 2018 had come to an end. It is officially the year of 2019. It was a great kickoff to pray with the saints in Stuggart throughout the new year and had a foretaste of the German craziness via watching them setting off fireworks. I am very thankful that the Lord has set out many opportunities for us to have a new beginning with Him.

2018 had been really tough for me for so many reasons. When I had a brief reflection on the 1st day of 2019, the Lord reminded me that I can simply forget the things behind and left all things (good and bad) in 2018 and move forward without hindrances. So far I have enjoyed some sweet blending, a prayer meeting and a sister meeting at Stuggart. It is a great start and for this, I thank You, Lord.

Interestingly, I came across these verses in Deuteronomy chapter 11 and it helps me to consecrate myself to the Lord freshly again.

11:11-16

But the land into which you are crossing over to possess is a land of mountains and valleys; by virtue of heaven's rain, it drinks in water. It is a land which Jehovah your God cares for; always the eyes of Jehovah your God are upon it, from the beginning of the year even to the end of the year. And if you are certain to listen to my commandments, which I am commanding you today, to love Jehovah your God and serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul, I will give rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the late rain, so that you may gather your grain and your new wine and your fresh oil. And I will put grass in your field for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied. Be careful lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and bow down to them,

11:24    

Every place on which the sole of your foot treads will be yours; from the wilderness and Lebanon, from the river, the river Euphrates, even to the farmost sea will be your territory.

11:31-32

For you are about to cross over the Jordan to enter and possess the land which Jehovah your God is giving you; and you will possess it and dwell in it. Therefore be certain to do all the statutes and judgments that I am setting before you today.

Oh Lord, thank You for encouraging me with these verses. May the year 2019 be an advancement in gaining my coordination to realise Your promise!

Happy Birthday Kate- On the day of 30.

I have too much to reflect on my 20s but I've been busy for the entire day to attend a government event arranged by MOST (Ministry of Science and Technology), and I'm now on the way home via Gatwick Express. 

Considering my 20s, I made a really crazy decision. I heard about the Lord's move to Europe so I decided to come and follow the One I love. I have been struggling in different things- finance, relationships, and the doubt with my ability to become an academic. To the best of my knowledge during that time, I knew that I had no other way to stay in Europe unless I study and become a scholar. 

And today, even on the day of my 30, I still struggle in many of these things. I have to say, the year 2018 is a year that I shed many many tears. I lost count of them, but by the Lord's mercy, I can still love Him. I cannot be confident in myself at all since I know that if without the Lord's mercy, I will definitely fall. Then, by the end of the year, I become much and much busier. The time that I spend with the Lord is less but deep inside of my heart, there is a longing and crying to Him- Lord, I still love You. 

I do not know what is going to happen in my 30s, but Lord, I need Your unreserved self to be with me, to supply me, to encourage me, and become everything I need. I know there are still going to be difficulties and tears. Nevertheless, Lord, increase Yourself even more day by day. 

I love You Lord, and I'm glad that I had "wasted" myself on You in my 20s. I'm glad that I had chosen to follow Your move here although it wasn't my direct vision. I followed because I heard about the encouraging report concerning Europe. Now, I still don't know where to go and how to live my human life but do encourage me to "waste" myself on You in my 30s. 

I love You and I want to follow Your footstep to Germany. Strengthen me, Lord! 

Before 30

I'm feeling weired.

However, when I look back, I realised the decision to come to UK for PhD, with a heart for Your move in Europe is such a wonderful thing. It might seem that I've spent my 20s for nothing and I've wasted my time, energy, and youth. But I'm willing to waste myself on You, Lord.

Make my 30s for You as well. Lord, I'm quit scared, but please hold my hands tightly and lead me on. I trust myself in Your wonderful self. Praise You!

The sufferings that comfort many

This morning a sister overseas called me for some fellowship and prayer. I listened and shared a little bit my struggles as well. I didn't mean to teach or exhort anything but simply shared what I'm going through, and surprisingly, it became a comfort to her. 

The year 2018 is not the best year for me, and especially the 2nd half of the year has been a disaster. I cannot remember how many tears I've shed before Him, but I know that He knows. 

Oh, He knows. 

2 King 4:8-37 has been a comfort to me. 

To anyone else who asks, my answer is "It is well" (v. 26), but I can feel free to cling to Him, talk to Him until He follows me (vv. 27,28,30). Many things and people can disappoint me, but I can flee to Him. 

Thank You Lord, I praise You! 

Have mercy on me, Lord

A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench until He brings forth justice unto victory. (Matthew 12:10 )

At times when tears and sighing never can be exhausted and when the weaknesses and disappointments attack again and again. 

Oh Lord, make your promise firm.

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, Oh that you would richly bless me and enlarge my border, and that Your hand would be with me, and that You would so keep me from evil that it would not grieve me! And God caused what he had requested to come to pass (1Chronicles 4:10)

Some points that I enjoy as the firstfruits

This week I enjoy the spoken message concerning the firstfruits. Brother Ron spoke from our individual experience to our corporate experience concerning how we can be the firstfruits that satisfy the Father. Then there's a result from such a continual experience, that is, we'll be the first fruits, the overcomers, to satisfy the Father. 

I've been considering and also discussing with the saints how, in our experience, we can be the firstfruits that satisfy the Father. After some fellowship, I enjoy the picture revealed in John 15.

1) We are the branches in the vine. 

As we abide in the vine, we enjoy the resurrected Christ. The life juice from the vine being dispensed into us so that we can bear fruits. 

2) Satisfying the Father. 

A particular verse in John 15:11 "These things I have spoken to you that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be made full". 

No more tears but joy

Whenever I walked by this place, I remember how my tears streamed down that day so that I had to hide in the forest and cried. During these months, I've been inquiring the Lord concerning the matter. If I were able to collect my tears, they must have already caused the flood.

However, when I happened to read the verse today, it feels like the Lord has gently left a gift before me.

Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be made full (John 16:24). 

Of course, I have had a lot of prayers during the time, but today I enjoy how He has loved me and is willing to fulfill my joy because my joy has been one with His joy (John 15:7-11). So I emptied my thoughts from all busyness and paid attention to my inner feeling concerning what I really want.

I made a request that my joy may be made full, and I know that it is His joy as well.

I love You, Lord. Thank You and I praise You. No more tears but joy.