Do not cast away therefore your boldness

I don't mean to be negative- but there have been so many things that frustrate me.

Not only am I under a lot of pressure (housing, work, and so on) but also my companies and I have been praying for the Lord to open a way for us for a long time but nothing happens.

I remember that one day I was just totally falling apart. Too many things that I was trying to sort out did not work and at the same time, the Lord did not open the way as we prayed. I was just so exhausted, so fed up with everything, and not knowing what to do. I just cried and cried a lot. It seemed that my mental capacity had reached the peak that I couldn't even think. Even if I tried to pray, I could not. I didn't know how to pray about the situation. I was just crying out to Him and tell Him that "I really cannot take this anymore, Lord, save me". Well, my wording was far more desperate. I was so desperate to a point that I would rather give up my life just to go through that situation.

I still don't know how the Lord will arrange for me, but I am really tired. Several times this week, I feel that I will not be able to go on in Him unless He shows mercy, and the Lord used the words in Hebrews to encourage me again.

Concerning service

As Christians grow, we started realising what our portions are and what our services shall be. However, as time goes by, the Lord will rise up some environment. Either our identity will change due to the dynamics in a service team changes or we might simply be put into a situation that we cannot do anything we used to do.

Times like this, the Lord often leads us to realise that we shall change our functions and serve Him in a different way instead of holding onto something we used to have and do.

My recent feeling is that I probably don't serve the Lord in the way that I used to do, but I need to serve Him via more prayers.   

Prayers are always needed. And in my current situations, I shall not be frustrated by not being able to serve Him freely. Instead, I shall serve Him with more and more prayers. Even my work is a way of service.