The Lord's leading to Germany (in the process)

Sometimes I'm still wondering why the Lord did not keep me in Cardiff. I guess the Lord respects my heart to work in Germany. Since I came to the University of Sussex, the direction of my research changes. I realised that the change of my research discipline can perhaps help me to access the kind of job that Germans wish to employ. As I have been looking into the research jobs in Germany, I feel that my research topics can be of their interests.

At the same time, I have been asking the Lord whether it is His will for me to go to Germany. On the one hand, the people who ask the Lord to thrust out workers into the field have become the workers themselves so I just simply tell the Lord that I have a burden for Germany. On the other hand, I respect the Lord's way so I want to make sure that it is not just me having this desire to go without fellowshipping with Him. 

The previous two days, although I was still quite down, I saw two reports from Stuggart and Trier. Gloria sent pictures of how German saints (the Chemistry teacher) who invited German high school students to the gospel home meeting after they graduated. I looked at the students' shining faces and realised that this is really my heart's desire to make the Lord known to them. Oh Lord, how much I long for this. And another report from the Hernandez is pretty encouraging as well. This summer, almost the same time as the Cheungs, they received the burden to move to Germany. They had borne the burden for a long while and had been learning German. It was a great surprise to know that they have been putting this burden in their heart and pray over it. They just settled everything down in a small city Trier. They got the key to the house near the kids' schools, town centre, and the workplace. They can officially stay in Germany now as residents. Though they will need to travel for several hours to meet the saints, it was really amazing how the Lord has sorted out everything for them. This is the Lord's blessing to the work in Germany. This is what I am asking the Lord as well- not according to my own effort and labour but according to Your blessing. Lord, bless me so that I can work and reside in Germany for Your move. 

The reports really convinced me that the Lord is working out all miracles in Germany, and I do not want to miss this out. Although I still do not know God's plan and leading completely, I would like to trust in Him fully. Lord, work out a way for me to go to Germany! 

By the Spirit of God I serve

For we are the circumcision, the ones who serve by the Spirit of God and boast in Christ Jesus and have no confidence in the flesh (Phil 3:3).

I enjoy that 1) We're circumcised by Christ's crucifixion and thus have no confidence in the flesh. Therefore, I can forget about everything I perceive about myself, others, and the environment and simply press on to serve Him. My eye has to be single (Matt. 6:22). 2) The Spirit of God is the basis of our service. I need to seize every opportunity to focus on growing in life. Eventually, in all services, we boast in Christ Jesus and glorify Him.

Thank You, Lord, I can simply forget about everything I perceive and focus on Christ and pursue the growth in Life. By this I serve.

His banner over me is love

S.S. 6:4
You are as beautiful, my love, as Tirzah, as lovely as Jerusalem, as terrible as an army with banners.

So Tirzah means Palace and Jerusalem means the city of the Great King. Both of them indicate the new creation. Therefore, while we're more constituted with Him as the duplication of Him, we're beautiful in His eyes. However, this week I was considering the word "banners". More precisely, I want to know what's so special about the banners that terrifies the enemy so much.

The ministry in the week explaining banners as the following.

1). Banners indicate a readiness to fight and also are a sign that the victory is won!

2). An unfurled banner signifies the glory of the victory... Indicates this lady, Christ's corporate lover, has a future that is full of hope, and a life that is absolutely heavenly. She is a victor who constantly triumphs in her victory.

So here we see that on the one hand, the banners as a symbol that we've won the victory, and on the other hand, there's a process that we're winning battles constantly. But I wasn't sure whether I really understand the connections between the two points.

At the same time, another verse came to me,
SoS 2:4 He brought me into the banqueting house, And his banner over me was love. I would like to read several footnotes I came across that I really enjoyed.

In Rom 8:31-39 talks about God loves us so much that He delivered His son for us all, and the Son died and raised and is now at the right hand of God interceding for us. In verse 35, it says "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword?" Verse 37 "But in all these things we more than conquer through Him who loved us". The reason that we cannot be separated from the love of God is according to Rom 5:5 "And hope does not put us to shame, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us". And the reason why we can "more than conquer" is because such love in our hearts does something special. The love is a motivating power that while God's enemy tries to attack us with all kinds of sufferings and calamities, we respond to the love of God in Christ. Therefore, these attacks have become benefits to us and helped us to be conformed by the Lord Spirit to reach the ultimate goal of this salvation. That is to enter into the incomparable divine glory and be glorified together with God.

So now we know why the banners are so glorious to us and are terrifying to the enemy.

When we see the banner, we are declaring God's unchanging love for us and the fact that Christ has accomplished everything on our behalf, and thus neither tribulation nor persecution can suppress or defeat us. And again when we see the banner, the enemy is really terrified! He sees a group of crazy lovers of Christ who are really crazily loving Christ. Within their heart, the inseparable love of Christ is the motivating power that whenever they meet and go through the difficulties, they turn these difficulties as fuel to accelerate their conformation into the image of God. So in hymn 1198 stanza 4 "And now the Spirit flows, Brings God wherever He goes, All he could do, the foe, was just release the flow. And God just keeps on flowing!"

Praise the Lord for the banner over us declares His unchanging love for us and our crazy love for Christ! This really terrifies the enemy.

*Main references: Rom 5:5 (ft. 1a), Rom 8:37; 39 (ft.) Bible recovery version.

A person whom God can entrust Himself to

Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover during the feast, many believed into His name when they saw the signs which He did. But Jesus Himself did not entrust Himself to them, for He knew all men, And because He did not need anyone to testify concerning man, for He Himself knew what was in man (John 2:23-25). 

I was praying to God concerning a matter that still bothers me last night. After the prayer, the Lord has given me the sure peace. However, this morning I still could not help but think of that thing. I did not want to be troubled in my mind concerning that matter since I knew that I fully gave it to the Lord last night. Afterwards, when I read the verse, the Lord was speaking to me, "How can I entrust Myself to you if you don't believe the peace that I had given to you and simply want to see the miracle?" I was convicted and reminded of the verse in John 20:29 "Jesus said to him, Becuase you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed". 

Lord, how much I need You. I know the weaknesses within me are still there, and I cannot just forget that matter because it is a big matter that has affected me. Oh Lord, but I open again. My fallen nature attempts me to bring me out of my peace in You and move, but the new creation within me wants to love Your will and fully trust in You. Dear Lord, have Your way in me. I even give up my struggles and attempts to "try" to believe in You. I simply rest in You so You can work Yourself freely in me. 

The Victorious Christ

To be honest, when the first day I saw this title until the very last message I read, I felt the message was not quite for me. On the one hand, I appreciate Christ has nullified sin, the death and Hades cannot hold Him, and He is victorious over the entire universe. But on the other hand, somehow it bothers me that the victorious Christ will come as the fighting General with His army to fight Antichrist (Rev. 19:11-21).

My question is, "Seriously, I'm not quite sure if I'm qualified to be in the army." My genuine situation is, I thought I could be strong by spending time and enjoying Christ, the Victorious One, but I often find myself "Oh, Lord, I don't what to do in the situation, how to deal with this and that thing, and the worst of all, I don't know what to do with myself."

However, as I was considering this matter, the story of Genesis 32:1-10 came to me. Jacob was quite scared of meeting his brother, Esau on the way back. So after Jacob met the angels of God, he divided his wives, children, and the rest of his possessions into two camps, or "two armies". Eventually, God changed Esau's attitude so there was no harm to Jacob's family and possessions. We can say that the two armies had won the victory.

If we link this case to Song of Songs 6:13 for more details. This verse talks about the dance of two camps. The reason why the two camps are dancing because they're celebrating the victory. In the same verse, we know the reason why the weak ones and feeble ones are victorious as armies. The country girl is no longer a country girl alone but becomes the Shulammite who shares the same life, nature, expression, and function as our Beloved Christ typified by Solomon.

Therefore, the entire picture here is that the victory is not gained by us but Christ. It is the Christ whom we experience and is wrought into us becomes the victory of the battle. In other words, it is not even because we enjoy Christ and become pretty strong and capable of many things that qualify us to be the victorious armies. It is simply the Christ that we love and enjoy and are constituted within us enabling us to cooperate with Him and gain the victory.

So praise the Lord that our first qualification to join the armies is our being weak and feeble. Corresponding to the message in day 6 of week 3 in the morning revivla, we cannot trust ourselves but depend on the redemption, life, light, and building that qualifies our fighting.And all we need is in the Word. Therefore, our military service, or our military training is simply to enjoy the Word, to love Him so that we can be the same as He is in life, nature, expression, and function. It is such a Christ that we put on qualifies us to gain the victory with Him!

Take courage from Joshua chapter 1

Recently I have been facing some difficulties and find it difficult to overcome. Happen to come across this message and it is quite enlighting. I just need to forget about my difficulties and simply enjoy His Word and be one with the Word. I don't have to come up with any other strategies to overcome the difficulties. Being one with God's Word and following the Word in our action is the only answer for us to combat the storm.

http://www.goodtv.tv/vod/prog_id/85/get_vid/26452

The principle here is significant, when we meditate the Word of God and even serious about the Word of God, we admit that we cannot live such a life by ourselves nor combat the difficulties by ourselves. Moreover, our meditation of enjoying His Word is the key for us to gain His promised blessing.

 One portion I enjoy concerning Stanley's sharing "From the book of Joshua, it often takes a pure gut courage to be obedient because His Word does not make sense sometimes. Therefore, people who are courageous enough, who trust in God, they are those who meditate God's Word day and night. When we absorb HisWord, His Word absorbs us, and we will be bold to accept what God requires us.

This relates what we had read on the new morning revival in Memorial Day Weekend Conference- The Spiritual Warfare of the Church as the New Man (message one and two). The whole armor of God is Christ Himself, and in order to put on such Christ experienced by us, the Word of God enjoyed and experienced by us is crucial.

His petition concerning us causes us not to fail in faith

Luke 22:32 But I have made petition concerning you that your faith would not fail; and you, once you have turned again, establish your brothers.

While eating the Passover feast, the Lord revealed His death to the disciples. And the time when the Lord speaking concerning the disciples and Peter would be stumbled by His death (footnote 1), the record in Luke specifically mentions Simon in the conversations. "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has asked to have you all to sift you as wheat. But I have made petition concerning you that your faith would not fail; and you, once you have turned again, establish your brothers" (Luke 22: 31-32).

While I read it this morning, I felt the Lord's humanity is sweet and tender toward us. He really knows the healing art.

For example, sometimes I fail in big things, and I trouble myself afterwards. I say to myself, I am a Christian, and why did I fail like this? Was I not being spiritual and not relying on You enough? I can blame myself a lot. Even when I'm encouraged to get over my self-condemnation, it can come back to me again and again. Oh, but my Saviour Lord, He knows that we're going to fail, and He has made petition for us. On our behalf, even before we fail, He was there overseeing and praying for us. Eventually, our failure is not to cause us to turn away from Him but cause us to turn ourselves to Him so that we can establish our fellow believers.

Many times, this is also our experience. We might still be in tears and find it hard to love Him because of our failures. We might be very disappointed about who we are and find it difficult to go on. When we do serve, we doubt ourselves and wonder, Lord, am I still qualified to serve You and follow You?

Oh, He knows, and not only so, what we are going through can be used to establish others. We can fail, but not fail in faith. We might fail for a short while, but not forever. The one remains forever is Himself- the embodiment of the Word and His lovingkindness (Psalm 136; Luke 21:33)

Lord, thank You for having petition for me before I fail. I shall forget the past, and simply focus on You alone. Your intention is not to remove my foreseen failures but to give Yourself to me even more. Cause me always turn my heart to You whenever I feel that I am strong or weak. When my heart turns, You have a way in me and even to others. I love You, Lord.


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*footnote 1: The timing here in Matthew and Mark is different from Luke and John. In Matthew 26:30-35 Mark 14:26-31, Jesus and disciplines went out to the Mount of Olives, and the conversations concerning disciples and Peter would be stumbled followed. Whereas in Luke 22:31-39 and John 13:30-38 indicated the conversations were in the midst of the Passover feast. The record in John did not even mention about their going out to the Mount of Olives.

A getaway to Eastbourne (2) - A burial

Apart from taking a break from my daily routine, one of my purposes to have this trip to Eastbourne is actually to hold a burial for something. I collected some things and ready to burn them and bury them in Eastbourne. This is my offering Issac to the Lord. I'm not trying to make it religious. However, I realised that I didn't take a decent action to make it serious enough so I still struggle. I had already offered my "Issac" to Him, but I realised that I need to take a serious action in order to really "cross the red sea and never go back".

I wrote something on the back of my document, and turned to the front and gave a kiss to it. I know it was my treasure, but it had been bothering me for so long. I gave it a kiss and burned it along with something else that will remind me of it.

A getaway to Eastbourne (1) - Walking on the seaside

Finally got a chance to be so close to the sea :) Nature has the best healing power.

Comparing to Brighton, I probably like Eastbourne better. It's not as young and energetic as Brighton, but there are definitely fewer people lying on the beach so I could enjoy more private space for my own. Known as a retirement city, there are not so many young people who are going to do a lot of exciting activities on the beach. I enjoy the serenity of the site.

A reflection of the half of a year in 2018 before heading off for a break

Dear Lord,

Yesterday I finally got a chance to have a proper break. I give myself at least a week to have a rest. Looking back the past half of a year, I was trying too hard to catch up with my work and balance my church life as well. Then I realised that the work-life balance is a lie. There will never be a balance because the world tries to usurp us with many things, and we often struggle with imperfections in our daily life and work. And most important of all, we need to fight for the church life. In both cases, we often feel that we're not doing good enough. I wish I could have done better in my work, and I wish I could have given myself more to the church life to take care of the young ones. However, the reality is that we struggle a lot and fight for it every day. My attitude now is that we don't need perfectionisms, but we need more Christ and grace daily and hourly.

Because of this, we definitely get tired after a while and we need to have a break from everything else and simply rest physically, mentally, and spiritually.