My past

After the Lord's table, the saints and I were having lunch together. An elder brother just became friends on my facebook, and he said he was browsing through all my pictures (certainly over thousands of pictures). Saints and I were making fun of him stalking me. Of course, the elder brother was out of care and love, but those pictures remind me of my past.

When I first arrived England, I was struggling. First, the church life was small. The sisters were scattered in three different cities, and I hardly found a companion who was near. Second, the new life and a sense of isolation forced me to make friends. I'm always not a person who feels that Christians should/shouldn't do something. Therefore, I joined the new friends I made to clubbing. I didn't feel bothered because I knew I'm a Christian and I wouldn't really do something bad, so why not?


A sign of thirst

I'm a girl who likes dancing, and I don't think during those clubbing I did something bad. However, after a couple of months, in a clubbing event where everyone was dancing like crazy, I just couldn't enjoy dancing anymore. I felt dull and empty. As a Christian, I knew it was a sign of thirsty. I actually thought I should join others and dance again, but I didn't have the mood and energy. At that time, I got wifi on my mobile phone, and I sat down and started browsing and reading the ministry book. Yes, I was sitting in the midst of the club and reading a ministry book  while people around me were dancing, as if they wanted to shake away all their worries and thirsts. After that, I couldn't go back to clubbing anymore.

This is not the purpose of my life

Another thing I like is singing in a choir. I joined choir since I was 8 or so. During high school, I became the leader of the choir society and I arranged many things- competitions, network events, and performances. Singing in a choir to me was amazing. You spent hours and hours just to get the tune and melody right, but after all these practices and correction, the voices came out to be extremely beautiful, and you just couldn't help but fell in love with it. Also, because you spent time with those friends, you got a sense of belonging, and the friendship grew dear. I really enjoyed it so I decided to go to a national choir and sang there when I entered uni.

After a period of time, a director came to me and said that I've got talents and I should have gone towards the professional singing and become a choir singer. It sounded attractive to me because I felt that I could cope with the singing bit and I had good relationships with other choir members. However, I just knew this is not the purpose of my life. If I made a decision to go for this, I might gain fame, but it also means more time investing in singing, and less time for churching. I rejected the opportunity that the director tried to promote me, and the direction of my life changed afterwards I heard the burden to study in Europe.

Are singing and dancing bad things? 

Many of the things are fine- hobbies, interests, and going out for fun. My personal experience is that there is not really a thing you couldn't do. However, if the things push you to not love the Lord or replace the Lord, you will realise it is impossible for us to keep doing them. Although now I still enjoy listening to choir music, I couldn't invest much time in it anymore.

When life grows, it changes little by little, day by day. There is no need to stop something we love or like immediately. The secret is to be open. Once we open wide, the life will be able to grow.